Bless me, readers, for I have sinned. As a child I used to rush to confession regularly and rattle off my list of juvenile transgressions to my patient priest, who bit his lip to keep from laughing and assured me that my horrid behavior would be forgiven for the price of five Hail Marys and seven Lord's Prayers. These days I’m no longer a Catholic but periodically feel the need to confess my evil deeds. From now on, this blog functions as a confession booth every Sunday! I will confess my wicked thoughts and actions (mostly tongue-in-cheek) and you should do so as well in the comments. Confess and save your souls!
My misdeeds this week: Impure thoughts
1. Whenever I see someone bent over with their ass in the air while picking something up, I briefly feel an urge to push them down.
2. I’ve had so many naughty dreams about George Clooney that I feel as though I know the guy. At this point, he should have a key to my apartment and keep a toothbrush in my bathroom. Maybe even meet my folks. I think he and my dad would hit it off.
3. I avoid using the garbage disposal because every time I turn it on I fight an irrational desire to stick my hand inside.
4. I’m imagining you naked right now.
5. I think most newborns are hideous. If I ever told you that your baby was cute, I lied.
6. I have a ginormous crush on Rachel Maddow. I daydream about spending an evening with her, engrossed in passionate discussion about the Middle East peace process over grilled cheese sandwiches and Pabst Blue Ribbon. Could you please pass the ketchup, Rach? I can call you Rach, right?
No Hail Mary's or Lord's prayers needed...You are forgiven (If it's not blasphemous for me to forgive)
ReplyDeleteOh, you are so cute. Thank you for reminding me we are all human - and, it's okay.
ReplyDeletelove & love,
-g-
I like this tradition! I will think of something I can confess online:)
ReplyDelete