This essay is a work in progress. In my English Pedagogy class I was recently required to write a creative piece about a particular punctuation symbol. The work is to be revised several times throughout the course. Here is the current draft - let me know what you think.
Holy Exclamatory Sentence, Batman!
The queen’s command that traitorous heads be lopped off. Emily Dickinson’s wild nights. The scream from the bimbo in the horror flick who always runs the wrong way. Your own scream as you issue her a futile warning from the safety of your living room sofa. The onomatopoeic fighting noises of Superman and Batman and Wolverine and the ever-incredible Hulk: Zap! Whoosh! Boom! Pow! Bif! Bang! It is the exclamation mark which gives our whispers and whimpers some cojones, which makes life loud! The exclamation mark is the self-assured, in-your-face twin of the ever-uncertain wimp the question mark. It is the blonde of punctuation symbols – it just has more fun! Or maybe it’s the redhead, adding fire and fever to an otherwise tepid and prosaic I love you. I love you! No wait – it’s the brunette, the dark chocolate-haired Latina whose Pandora’s box of passion cannot even be contained by two exclamation marks at each end of her expressions: ¡Ay, Dios mio! ¡Como te amo!
But beware, fellow writers: the exclamation mark is the tequila of the punctuation liquor cabinet. It adds life to the party, but too much of it is the mother of all hangovers. Young men and women (and bloggers) tend to overindulge, not having yet found the appropriate limit. This exclamation abuse is evidenced in the notes passed between two teenage lovers in third period algebra: “I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!” and “I can’t wait to hang out tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” More experienced writers have cautioned against the overuse of exclamation marks. F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote: “Cut out all those exclamation marks. An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own jokes.” So in honor of our staid friend Mr. Fitzgerald, let us now calm down, take a deep breath, and end our sentences with periods for a moment while we explore more appropriate uses of his apparent enemy the exclamation mark.
When mulling over whether or not to use an exclamation mark, consider the type of composition you are writing and the tone you wish to create. If you are writing a formal piece, such as a professional letter or academic paper, you should avoid using the exclamation mark altogether. Exclamations in your writing cause your work to sound more conversational and casual than scholarly and professional. Remember that the exclamation mark is (this may or may not surprise you) intended to mark an exclamatory sentence. Its position at the end of a sentence indicates high emotion or volume. This is not a desired tone for a serious piece such as the cover letter of your resume (Please hire me! Please! Please! Pleeeease!), but in creative writing it is sometimes permissible. If your aim is to communicate a character or narrator’s strong feeling – as of surprise, fear, or exasperation –then an exclamation mark may be in order. For example:
Holy shit!
Help!
Enough talk about exclamation marks already!
Again, try to limit the use of exclamations to your casual writing (letters to friends, your Facebook posts) and your creative work (as in the case of dialogue in a short story). If you feel you must use an exclamation mark in a more formal piece, be careful not to overdo it (No one likes a hangover, remember?). Otherwise you might inadvertently give the impression that you are yelling at your audience. Certainly your aim might be to evoke an emotional response from your readers themselves, but try to restrain your own excitement a bit. For example, your essay on the plight of the endangered beluga could be intended to inspire fellow cetacean-lovers to action in the form of generous donations to your Save the Cute Whale with a Name That’s Fun to Say fund, but too many exclamations can make you come across pushy (or insane).
A final note from yours truly: if your writing is strong, then powerful meaning will resonate from the words and phrases you’ve lovingly selected and arranged with care on the page. Your effective use of language will need little or no additional emphasis, and your message will be delivered to your readers loud and clear. However, if all your efforts at effective writing prove fruitless, and your audience responds with a resounding WHAT THE FUCK? then by all means take a moment to unleash as many profanity-laced exclamations as necessary . If nothing else, it will make you feel better. J
